you sucks

once again, the thought of you came in my mind. no, it not because that i misses you or what. its just that circumstances that made me remind about you. all the empty promises that you gave me, i was foolish at that time to believe it. i do not hate you, i just do not like you. how i wish, im experiencing some amnesia so that i would be the happy old me again. not knowing you. well, its just crap to have the slightest thought of "how i wish, i could turn back time" yeahh. its foolish, but that is what we always hopes for when we get to feel the pinch of reality. yes, reality may sucks but at least its the truth than living in fantasy where everything just stays as a dream/wishful thinking. i hate myself of being so naive and right now, im unconsciously blaming other people in my life just like how i shut myself from loving and being loved by others. thanks for the pain that you brought to me, that causes me to deny the feelings again. i do not want myself to be hurt. so i just ignore allthe love and loving situation around me. to myself, i know i have move on but my close friend can tell me that i have not. did i really have not move on? im thinking about myself not about you. i do not care, if you have not move one. moving on, is not having someone else by yourside. moveing on is simply bieng there alone or attached and at the same time, looking backat him/her smiling and thank them for not being with you currently.
people around me do not know what actually happened and do not know what i really feel, only god knows how i feel.